If there’s one thing old people love it’s soft food. If there’s another it’s stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers . Aaaaaand I’ve officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz , Vienna digits. The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant “SOS” button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It’s also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution. I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don’t. I’m just clumsy. One time I tried to order a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. YES I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT! Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.

If there’s one thing old people love it’s soft food. If there’s another it’s stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers . Aaaaaand I’ve officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz , Vienna digits. The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant “SOS” button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It’s also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution. I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don’t. I’m just clumsy. One time I tried to order a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. YES I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT! Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.

Strike a pose! Hey, it's what Bai Ling does best. The "actress" showed off her latest weird outfit on the streets of LA this weekend, happily posing for the photogs. Does Bai need to go bye-bye?…

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive ? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you’re really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99). [The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you’ll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there’s also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too. Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera? Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool] Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.

Not to be outdone by the new Wii Punch-Out!! game that just dropped, here comes a video of the original Punch-Out!! the way it was meant to be played: with, uh, a bunch of buttons attached to a boxing dummy . While cool in theory, it leaves a little something to be desired in practice. Namely, everything. Still, I do like the sound it makes when you punch a button. Wait, no I don’t. Modified boxing dummy makes Punch-Out a bit more realistic [dvice]

This is a video of a two-year old playing Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix and pulling off Zangief’s Double German Suplex simply by mashing all the buttons . Which, ironically, is how I play . My two year old son’s first time in front of the joystick, playing against another five year old online in Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. Manages to get a couple grabs and finishes the third round with a double suplex. He also did Fei Long’s flaming kick and some other special moves in matches I didn’t get on video. He’s better at flailing at 2 than I was at 22 when SF2 came out in the arcade. I’m so proud. Hearing the father say “push the buttons” gets pretty annoying after the first time, so feel free to skip to the last 15-seconds to watch the kid pull off the suplex. Then, start training your own child for a promising career in video games. Hey, anything can happen. Believe it or not, I even touched a boob once. *poker face* Admit it — I had you going for a second! Baby Pulls Off Zangief’s Double German Suplex [kotaku] Thanks to Julian, who once beat Sagat with one eye closed, just to be fair.

This is some crazy-ass interactive Street Fighter game in which you actually have some limited command over what your fighter is doing by clicking on-screen buttons. All through Youtube — amazing! Now go give it a try. Note: clicking the button to choose your opponent will open a new window. But like my grandma always used to tell me, “whenever God opens a new window, he slams an old door and nails it shut, preventing any hope of future happiness. Also, a masked stranger will sneak in your newly opened window and try fondling you in your sleep.” Sound wisdom, miss you Grams. Youtube Thanks to MoD and NinjaMuffin, who once chained Blanka to a mini fridge in the park where he was forced to power it and keep their beer cold while they played soccer.

HangUP Arcade Coat Hooks by Surface Tension are made out of real arcade joysticks and buttons and conveniently store your coat or jacket up and out of bong’s way. Coming sometime early this year, they’ll be available in 3UP and 4UP versions. You can pick your own joystick ball colors too. The standard models will ship in black walnut wood, but they’re happy to take custom orders for other materials too. Alternatively, go apeshit at the arcade and rip off a joystick and a couple buttons. Then, screw those bitches to a piece of plywood, and presto: junk. But not in your trunk — in your foyer . Was that too sexy? arcade joystick coat hangers: control your clutter [technabob] Thanks to Riki Kiki Taco, who doesn’t need a coat rack because she only wears win.