Let’s face it: the problem with modern toasting technology is that it doesn’t use lasers . A far less significant problem is that you can’t see how burnt your bread is getting until it’s a f***ing shingle. Enter Le Toaster Vision from Magimix. Despite its toaster moniker, Le Toaster Vision is really more of a vertical toaster oven, using two toaster elements per side that are positioned above and below the slices of bread. Reflectors behind the elements make sure that the bread gets toasted evenly while keeping the windowed sides (mostly) clear to see through. Hey, with as much toast as I eat this thing might be worth it. I’ve been using the same toaster for like four years and there’s absolutely no consistency to the level of browning. You know what I’m thinking? A poltergeist. Now touch me while I sleep! Hit the jump for a video of the thing.

This is a picture by deviantARTist Rose-Bullets of the Vulcan salute made out of Elvish bread ON A DINOSAUR PLATE. Geekiest thing you’ve seen all day? No? Well screw you Mr. I See All Kinds Of Super Geeky Things — how about a tip every once in awhile? You are such a jerk. Rose-Bullet’s DeviantART Page Thanks to sham, who once challenged me to a geek-off competition but I had to turn her down because I was too busy SOLVING CANCER WITH MATH AND VIDEO GAMES. Boom, I win.

They’re slippers . They’re made out of bread . You can wear them then eat them. But you won’t, because that’s disgusting . I jest, knowing you you probably will. Freak. Just remember to take them off first. Martynas Birskys of the Vilnius-based design studio DaDaDa sells slippers made out of bread. For your comfort, you can select from various sizes and grains. It’s hard to argue with his sales pitch “eatable…dries itself… made from bread…first in fashion…needs no pressing…feels good in dry climate …won’t sag.” Tipster crystal noted these would probably go great with a little — wait for it — wait for it — toe jam. I get it! I get it! you’re trying to steal my job . Bread Shoes [neatorama] Thanks crystal, BUT I’VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

Apparently coming back from the future to destroy itself isn’t the only problem the Large Hadron Collider has to face, now it’s being sabotaged by crumb dropping birds . CODE BREAD! CODE BREAD! The Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation. The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine. Wow, that’s — what’s the word I’m looking for? Pathetic. And by pathetic I mean damn yeah I left that baguette there. YOU AREN’T DESTROYING MY WORLD, LARGE HADRON COLLIDER! Next time I’m bringing jelly. Baguette Dropped From Bird’s Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really) [popsci] Thanks to Futuju, Stephen, Kristi, you’ve got mail and sham, who tried to train squirrels to sabotage the LHC with acorns but the little bastards just kept hiding them.

The Super Nintoaster is a Super Nintendo in a toaster’s body . It’s similar to that time I dressed as a woman and solicited men at the bar (Friday), but nowhere near as good looking. It’s maker, Mr. Vomitsaw, discusses: Built from nothing more than a Super NES, a toaster, four different types of adhesives, magnets ripped from a broken hard drive, six orange LEDs, a bunch of resistors, plexiglass, and many many spare wires. Not too dissimilar from my previous toaster, only this time the temperature comtrol knob DOES serve a purpose! If for some reason you feel the need to adjust the brightness of the orange LEDs, now you can. Good looking, Mr. Vomitsaw. Or should I call you Mr. Barfblade? Pukepruner? Heavecleaver? Hit the jump for a video of the SNES toasty-ness.