How bout that title, huh? You thought I lost my mind, didn’t you? WELL I HAVEN’T AND I CAN MIX FICTIONAL UNIVERSES ALL I WANT. Sure taking the Zelda franchise in vain is sacrilegious, but Spirit Tracks is about a damn train . A train in the Zelda universe. Shit’s blowin’ my mind — I thought they’d just invented horses! Anyway, this is a Zelda cake . The characters are kinda generic but you get what you pay for. In this case somebody didn’t pay enough. I love it! Awesome Legend Of Zelda Birthday Cake [break] Thanks to Steve, who once bought a Zelda cake from a real Hyrulian bakery and washed it down with a quart of Lon Lon milk.

You know how all those high-voltage capacitors have warning signs that tell you not to sit on them or play around them but you do anyways because you’re an ultra-L337 badass from the planet Choke-slam? Well this is a video demonstration of what can happen if a drunk electrical worker accidentally left some of the wires exposed and you sat on them. Except, in this demo they use a watermelon instead of your buttocks. The same thing would happen to your ass though, trust me. You see these? *knock knock knock* Wooden cheeks. I’m just like George Washington! Except way handsomer and a better leader. So, This Is What Those High Voltage Danger Signs Mean [gizmodo] Thanks to Harrison, who actually taught ‘ol George how to make love like an eagle falling out of the sky .

The Cap-sac came out in 1987 but didn’t sell very well because there was no internet then. But now, thanks to a magical series of tubes, the Cap-sac is back to the future and helping people get laid and store things at the same time . It’s a fanny pack for your head , yo. Available in both neon and non-neon colors, the $13 hats promise to add a bit of retro flair and storage space to almost any domepiece. I wear two at a time because I’m so fresh and also I don’t like things that jingle in my pockets because Santa is a punk bitch and you can hear that jolly sack of bastard coming from a mile away. Hit the jump for a couple more shots because I roll deep.

I don’t actually know if that’s the sound volcano lightning makes, but for the sake of my journalistic integrity, let’s run with it. When Alaska’s Mount Redoubt volcano began rumbling back to life in January, a team of researchers scrambled to set up a system called a Lightning Mapping Array that would be able to peer through the dust and gas of any eruption that occurred to the lightning storm happening within. Lightning is known to flash in the tumultuous clouds belched out during volcanic eruptions. The lightning produced when Redoubt finally erupted on March 22 was “prolific,” said physicist Paul Krehbiel of New Mexico Tech. Cool. Not as dramatic as last year’s Chaitén volcano eruption , but this one does have a smiley face in the lightning. Can you see it? It’s there on the right. Kind of looks like a giant monkey head…. …. …. THEY’VE FOUND MONKEY ISLAND! Dramatic Image Shows Volcano’s Lightning [livescience] Thanks to Watch, who once punched a cloud in the face and made it cry rain. True story.