Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid’s programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers . Red ones. The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur’s body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes. To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis’s color pattern. Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips. Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, “it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” “….like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I’d be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can’t BECAUSE I’M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf. Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes] and True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn’t find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid’s programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers . Red ones. The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur’s body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes. To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis’s color pattern. Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips. Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, “it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” “….like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I’d be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can’t BECAUSE I’M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf. Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes] and True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn’t find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

This is a video of little birds playing guitar as part of some wack-ass French ( of course ) art exhibit . For his installation in The Curve, Boursier-Mougenot creates a walk-though aviary for a flock of zebra finches, furnished with electric guitars and other musical instruments. As the birds go about their routine activities, perching on or feeding from the various pieces of equipment, they create a captivating, live soundscape. Hmm, I dunno. Is a bunch of little birds playing guitar really art? Did I serve as the model for Michalangelo’s David? That was supposed to be rhetorical. But since I’ve piqued your interest, yes, I did. Except for the wang (I had mine thrown over my shoulder). Youtube via Birds Can Play Guitar [buzzfeed]

I can’t believe it took this long . And, who knows, maybe it’s happened before . I mean, birds shit on my car all the time. Cats too. And, at least twice this year, a homeless man. Well, from a purely technical standpoint, that was actually IN the car. And speaking of which: DON’T YOU EVER WIPE YOURSELF ON MY SEAT AGAIN. Use the passenger’s. Google Maps Thanks to Marcos, who has slept in cars but never shit in them. Remember: don’t shit where you eat sleep. Unless you pass out on the john, in which case go for it.

Apparently coming back from the future to destroy itself isn’t the only problem the Large Hadron Collider has to face, now it’s being sabotaged by crumb dropping birds . CODE BREAD! CODE BREAD! The Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation. The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine. Wow, that’s — what’s the word I’m looking for? Pathetic. And by pathetic I mean damn yeah I left that baguette there. YOU AREN’T DESTROYING MY WORLD, LARGE HADRON COLLIDER! Next time I’m bringing jelly. Baguette Dropped From Bird’s Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really) [popsci] Thanks to Futuju, Stephen, Kristi, you’ve got mail and sham, who tried to train squirrels to sabotage the LHC with acorns but the little bastards just kept hiding them.

This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that’s incorporated into a $80 flowery mask . You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes . INTENSE! Reminds me of the time I let a murder of crows peck my eyes out. Probably shouldn’t have done that. But like they say, hindsight’s 20/20. Except mine. I’m totally blind now. Product Site via Wearable hummingbird feeder: they’ll think your eyes are juicy, delicious flowers! [boingboing] Thanks to Fally, who once fed an owl a mouse right from her hand because she’s an adrenaline junkie.

This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt . And in case you can’t watch videos at work, I’ll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win , you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME! Contra Duck Hunt [collegehumor] Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle and “accidentally” shot that annoying laughing dog.

This Duck Hunt game from Hammacher Schlemmer costs $30 and involves shooting a mechanical flying duck with an infrared gun. Plus, if your gun runs out of batteries you can still throw rocks at it. Just like our ancestors used to do! A 10-second charge on the barrel of the gun energizes the mechanical duck for a 30-second flight. The duck’s 6″ long mylar wings flap up and down nearly 500 times per minute, and it can be set to fly in an erratic left- or right-turning circle or a level, straight line. Sharp-eyed hunters take aim with the infrared gun–the first two hits merely stun the waterfowl, momentarily interrupting his flapping; the third hit downs the duck for good. I like how it takes three shots to bring it down, that’s pretty neat. Not as neat as my cocktail, but that’s only because I DON’T DO ICE, HOMEY. Product Page via Learn to Aim With Flying Duck Hunt Shooting Game [walyou]

Twitter user wildflourbakery went and made a fail whale cake for the Lawrence, Kansas Tweet Up. And I can safely say I have no idea what I just typed. Tweet Up? Fail whale? I AM ALL WIN FISH, SON. Hit the jump for a couple more shots and another, different fail whale cake.

Hungry? Yeah, but are you whole chicken in a can hungry? That’s right folks, Sweet Sue’s Canned Whole Chicken (without giblets) is an entire cooked chicken in a can (a big one). Equally perfect for camping trips or throwing up everywhere! Hit the jump to see an uncanning in progress, which will leave you wondering why you’ve ever eaten anything else. Then go get one. You’ll be doubled over on the bathroom floor with the runs quicker than you can say “I think I ate the asshole”! Bon Appétit! Hit it for the uncanning. Really makes me want one.