It was only a matter of time before Avatar killed somebody , and it’s finally happened. Which is exactly why I haven’t gone to see it. Well, that and I’ve been banned from all the local theaters for public indecency excessive awesomeness and killer style. According to AFP, the 42-year-old cinemagoer, surnamed Kuo, had a history of high blood pressure and suffered a stroke while watching the film in in the northern city of Hsinchu (Taiwan). Emergency room doctor Peng Chin-chih told AFP: “It’s likely that the over-excitement from watching the movie triggered his symptoms.” The China Times reported that the incident represented “the first death linked to watching James Cameron’s science-fiction epic”. Interesting, China, but if it was actually Avatar that killed him then how do you explain THIS GUNSHOT WOUND?! Dum dum dum! Avatar kills Taiwanese man [theregister] Thanks to Justin, who was *this close* to losing consciousness during Titanic .

It was only a matter of time before Avatar killed somebody , and it’s finally happened. Which is exactly why I haven’t gone to see it. Well, that and I’ve been banned from all the local theaters for public indecency excessive awesomeness and killer style. According to AFP, the 42-year-old cinemagoer, surnamed Kuo, had a history of high blood pressure and suffered a stroke while watching the film in in the northern city of Hsinchu (Taiwan). Emergency room doctor Peng Chin-chih told AFP: “It’s likely that the over-excitement from watching the movie triggered his symptoms.” The China Times reported that the incident represented “the first death linked to watching James Cameron’s science-fiction epic”. Interesting, China, but if it was actually Avatar that killed him then how do you explain THIS GUNSHOT WOUND?! Dum dum dum! Avatar kills Taiwanese man [theregister] Thanks to Justin, who was *this close* to losing consciousness during Titanic .

Honestly, I bet the old lady ran right into the side of the thing (old ladies are notoriously bad bike riders. *ahem* Grandma — I saw you hit that bus shelter!). There’s a before shot after the jump, but unfortunately the above image has since been removed from Google Maps . I smell conspiracy. I mean, it’s not like the old lady asked to have have it removed . Old people using computers — HA! They’re better at avoiding fire trucks! Hit it for the before shot and a link to the action area.

The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure . Just look at that thing — reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank . I’m sure it’s safe though. After all, it was designed and “thoroughly tested” by a NASA engineer. It’s a computer-controlled “stimulation” device that uses specially encoded content to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin. Basically you plug the unit’s USB cable into your computer, plug your unit into the unit, and presto!: it mimics the feelings you’d experience if you were actually banging the chick in the porno and not sitting at a computer desk sobbing into your jizz sock. The Real Touch is available now for $150. And, if you get the chance AND ARE NOT AT WORK NSFW NSFW NSFW you HAVE TO go to the official website and watch the video of the chick explaining the device. It was….something. NSFW NSFW NSFW Official Website NSFW NSFW NSFW via The sickest gadget DVICE saw in Vegas [dvice] Thanks to Rachel, whose lucky man doesn’t need a Real Touch.