If you’re a fan of both this year’s Oscar favorites and the terrible humans of Jersey Shore , I’ve got just what you want to gape at with a baffled stare: the cast of brain-wrecking MTV show recreating scenes from this year’s Best Picture batch, thanks to Mr. G. Lopez (TBS, very funny). It’s like watching the most acclaimed films of 2009 through orange glasses smeared in hair gel. That is, it’s awful–unless you’re really excited about hearing The Situation get involved in a “who’s on first?” routine.

If you’re a fan of both this year’s Oscar favorites and the terrible humans of Jersey Shore , I’ve got just what you want to gape at with a baffled stare: the cast of brain-wrecking MTV show recreating scenes from this year’s Best Picture batch, thanks to Mr. G. Lopez (TBS, very funny). It’s like watching the most acclaimed films of 2009 through orange glasses smeared in hair gel. That is, it’s awful–unless you’re really excited about hearing The Situation get involved in a “who’s on first?” routine.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced that Hurt Locker producer Nicolas Chartier has "violated Academy rules against campaigning directly to voters and disparaging the competition." For that reason, he has been banned from Sunday's Oscar…

Your weekend box office numbers: 1. Shutter Island - $22.2 million . It’s making enough money that, in a few years, it may be the #1 answer when Family Feud asks for a Scorsese film. 2. Cop Out - $18.6 million , not enough to take first place but enough to surely turn a profit when, next week, Kevin Smith adds new scenes of Tracy Morgan delivering Shutter Island lines in an interrogation room. 3. The Crazies - Only managed to gross $16.5 million , as most audiences just assumed “The Crazies” must be a wacky family of mixed-weight Eddie Murphys. 4. Avatar - $14 million . That’s 706. MILLION! …DOLLARS! …TOTAL! …WITHIN THE UNITED STATES! 5. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $9.8 million . When it comes to child gods, audiences still prefer Little Hercules . Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

What better way to honor your favorite film than with a commemorative tattoo on your shoulder? Sure you could just buy the Blu-Ray when it’s released, but come on, that’s for posers. You’re a real fan. Real fans do crazy shit they’ll regret later. Now I know what you’re thinking: Jesus, does that mean the GW really has the t-rex and raptors from Jurassic Park permanently inked on himself? Ha! Do dinosaurs fight across my buttcheeks? That was rhetorical. Of course they do. Avatar Tattoo [avatar.typepad] Thanks to Steve, who’s considering getting a scene from The Notebook on his bicep.

NASA, in a covert attempt to mine Martian cheese , wants to send scientists to the moon in the form of avatars, just like in the movie by the same! ( Avatar , not Martian cheese — although that shit has blockbuster written all over it too). NASA can put humanoids on the Moon in just 1000 days. They would be controlled by scientists on Earth using motion capture suits, giving them the feeling of being on the lunar surface. The 1000-day mark is quite plausible, since the mission would be a lot simpler than a human-based one. It will also be quite cheaper than the real thing. First, you don’t have to care about life support systems, which will make spacecraft manufacturing a lot less complex. The whole system would also weight a lot less, reducing the need for the development of a huge rocket, and again reducing the costs. Ha, I love how in the robot in the video stares at his fingers for a full minute like, “holy shit, what the f*** are these?!” Great programming, NASA. And, hypothetically, if my avatar decided to get drunk on moon juice and chase some alien snizz, would I single-handedly restore interest in outerspace and save NASA from the brink of funding collapse? Yes, I would. AND YOU BETTER RENAME A PLANET AFTER ME. NASA Project M Puts Scientists’ Avatars On the Moon [gizmodo]

Your weekend box office top five, presented this week by whatever banner ads you’re avoiding: 1. Shutter Island - $40.2 million , proving Scorsese films fare best when their name hints they could be a reality series. 2. Valentine’s Day - With the actual Valentine’s Day now passed, this week audiences returned to this romantic comedy to see how much of it came true. $17.2 million . 3. Avatar - $16.1 million , climbing back up from 4th–something Avatar historians will later refer to as “the bounce-back period.” 4. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $15.3 million , another middling box office showing, demonstrating America’s continued indifference towards lightning theft. 5. The Wolfman - $9.8 million , still leaving it $100 million from earning back its budget. I say just market the DVD as a Wolfman Jack biopic. Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

This is a short documentary about the Na’vi people of Hometree, Wisconsin. In case you couldn’t tell, it’s a parody and probably incredibly offensive to you real Na’vi . So yeah, shame on them for poking fun you. And, in your defense, it wasn’t particularly funny, and I regret the 5 minutes I spent watching it. Which is nothing compared to the 162 minutes I pissed away watching Avatar. REVERSE BURN! Kidding, still haven’t seen it. You’re not sticking your hand in my pocket, James Cameron! Ooooh, so you are. *tee-hee* That tickles! Youtube via Live Avatar Role Playing: LARPers Recreate Na’vi Life In ‘Hometree’, Wisconsin [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Gabe to the Power of PEW!, who once bulldozed a neighbor’s tree just to spite him for not mowing his grass.

This is a short documentary about the Na’vi people of Hometree, Wisconsin. In case you couldn’t tell, it’s a parody and probably incredibly offensive to you real Na’vi . So yeah, shame on them for poking fun you. And, in your defense, it wasn’t particularly funny, and I regret the 5 minutes I spent watching it. Which is nothing compared to the 162 minutes I pissed away watching Avatar. REVERSE BURN! Kidding, still haven’t seen it. You’re not sticking your hand in my pocket, James Cameron! Ooooh, so you are. *tee-hee* That tickles! Youtube via Live Avatar Role Playing: LARPers Recreate Na’vi Life In ‘Hometree’, Wisconsin [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Gabe to the Power of PEW!, who once bulldozed a neighbor’s tree just to spite him for not mowing his grass.

What movies did people use to feed voracious Valentine’s Day/Presidents’ Day film appetites? These ones: 1. Valentine’s Day - $52.4 million , narrowly beating Drinking Wine Alone in a Bubble Bath for most stereotypical way a sad lady could spend the weekend. 2. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $31.1 million . Not everyone was as excited as I was to see Pierce Brosnan in Warrior Hobo . 3. The Wolfman - $30.6 million , firmly establishing that wolfmen, like vampires, are still at their most popular when they’re teenagers. 4. Avatar - $22 million . That’s almost $660 million, for those of you with Avatar stock. 5. Dear John - $15.3 million . BUT IT’S SO ROMANTIC. Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]