Like being a father , just the very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach . And the only thing that makes this redeemable is the fact that “my robe and wizard hat” also made the cut ( bloodninja , high-five!). Oh, and “my Robert Pattinson”. God that’s pathetic. Listen Twi-Hards — HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS. Will you, Robert? No, you won’t. Now keep tickling, glittercakes. Never Have Unprotected Robot Sex [autocompleteme] Thanks to Twelveburgers, who, wait — no cheese?

It’s a giant baby robot . It exemplifies everything that’s wrong with robotics . Namely, that they exist — or were born , if you will (L337 baby tie-in FTW!). It shouldn’t exist. If I had a time machine I’d go back in time and make sure it was never created bang dinos. Sorry guys, I’ve got priorities. the robot is supposed to model a 1 year old baby and the purpose is to conduct research on how a baby’s brain develops. Diego-san’s face has about 20 moving parts so that it can communicate with facial expression without being able to talk. It is 130cm tall, weighs 30kg and can stand up from a chair on its own. It can hold a water bottle with its hand. It has a high resolution camera and 6 axis acceleration sensor built in to detect movement. Unfortunately it doesn’t say why the head has to be so big. Female researchers contributed to the design and coordination - thus the photo of woman hugging Diego-san. Pfft. Like you really need a creepy-ass robot to study how a baby’s brain develops? Here, let me solve that mystery for you: slowly. I have an eleven-year old who still craps his pants. And before you all get in a huff about scarring my son by airing his dirty laundry (God I’m good) on Geekologie, don’t worry: it’s not like he can read. Hit the jump for a larger shot of the baby and his inventor.

The man on the left is Professor Henry Markram. Based on this picture alone he’s clearly a mad scientist . Don’t believe me? Read this captain crazy shit: Professor Henry Markram, a doctor-turned-computer engineer, announced that his team would create the world’s first artificial conscious and intelligent mind by 2018. And that is exactly what he is doing. On the shore of Lake Geneva, this brilliant, eccentric scientist is building an artificial mind. A Swiss - it could only be Swiss - precision- engineered mind, made of silicon, gold and copper. The end result will be a creature, if we can call it that, which its maker believes within a decade may be able to think, feel and even fall in love. Now I’m not saying somebody needs to blow up Markram’s lab and rescue the beautiful maiden he’s obviously holding captive, but I am asking if any of you live on Lake Geneva (I’ll ring-bay the omb-bay). The real Frankenstein experiment: One man’s mission to create a living mind inside a machine [dailymail] (long article with a ton more information — I stopped reading around the bucket of rat brains part) Thanks to Brandon and Bryan, who will pitchfork and torch the shit outta this bastard if he ever becomes reality.

The man on the left is Professor Henry Markram. Based on this picture alone he’s clearly a mad scientist . Don’t believe me? Read this captain crazy shit: Professor Henry Markram, a doctor-turned-computer engineer, announced that his team would create the world’s first artificial conscious and intelligent mind by 2018. And that is exactly what he is doing. On the shore of Lake Geneva, this brilliant, eccentric scientist is building an artificial mind. A Swiss - it could only be Swiss - precision- engineered mind, made of silicon, gold and copper. The end result will be a creature, if we can call it that, which its maker believes within a decade may be able to think, feel and even fall in love. Now I’m not saying somebody needs to blow up Markram’s lab and rescue the beautiful maiden he’s obviously holding captive, but I am asking if any of you live on Lake Geneva (I’ll ring-bay the omb-bay). The real Frankenstein experiment: One man’s mission to create a living mind inside a machine [dailymail] (long article with a ton more information — I stopped reading around the bucket of rat brains part) Thanks to Brandon and Bryan, who will pitchfork and torch the shit outta this bastard if he ever becomes reality.

Philly.com recently sent questionnaires to parents and teachers asking their children (13 and under) what they think the world we be like in 10 years. These are some of the answers. And as you will see, some of these cats really know what’s up. Okay, which one of you has the time machine?! I think all of the animals will be dead in 10 years because America is polluting too much. People who aren’t married won’t have dogs, cats, fish, or any other type of house animal. Lexi Schommer, 8 Penn Valley People will be friendlier because they can talk to each other on more than one phone. Morgen Zighelboim, 5 Huntingdon Valley Robots will take over the world. They will have lasers. Jacob Eiseman, 9 Penn Valley In a decade I think that the time machine will be invented. Maybe somebody will make a new ice cream flavor and the government will find a way to stop pollution. They will also make a machine to control the seasons. After, there would be a candy that makes you shrink. Astronauts would land on Mars and explorers would find new types of fish. They would also discover a new Arctic animal and a new island. Guille Ribeiro-Vecino, 8 Wynnewood Everybody will have a jet pack. Dylan Marcus, 7 Cherry Hill There may not be any blue sky. Annie Lindner, 11 Haverford We will live in a world of pure luxury with computers that are programmed by a human’s thoughts. We will have no racism, no crime, no need for anyone to take people to court, no need for divorce. There would be no end to happiness. The poor would be welcomed into newly built houses without hesitation. Rich people would donate to every charity known. We would find a cure for every disease. Summer Lynch, 11 Malvern Oh Summer, Summer, Summer. You are in for a real treat. Oh — and whatever you do, DON’T WATCH AVATAR . Decade in Preview: The Youthful Vision [philly] (with seven pages of responses, so click it to read a ton more) Thanks to Joe, who agrees little Jacob Eiseman might just be a seer.

Okay so maybe the asteroid isn’t actually earth bound, but it could be. You see, nobody can agree on how serious a threat the rock poses. I say laser the shit out of it. Then laser all the little pieces. Then blast me in the eyes. If I can’t see the end of the world I don’t wanna see anything! Russia’s space agency chief said Wednesday a spacecraft may be dispatched to knock a large asteroid off course and reduce the chances of earth impact, even though U.S. scientists say such a scenario is unlikely. When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated its chances of smashing into Earth in its first flyby, in 2029, at 1-in-37. Further studies have ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) from Earth’s surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters. NASA had put the chances that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 as 1-in-45,000. In October, after researchers recalculated the asteroid’s path, the agency changed its estimate to 1-in-250,000. What is this, football? Why do the odds keep changing? Because this shit’s all fun and games until the day the asteroid’s supposed to hit and the odds drop to 1-in-0.5. Then what? We all bone till we burn up, that’s what. *high-five* Going out like the dinosaurs! Russia may send spacecraft to knock away asteroid [yahoonews]

This is a video of a Tomy i-SOBOT that some deranged sicko made custom weapons for and then let loose to wreak havoc on a table in his living room. Why half the scenes involve killing innocent dinosaurs is beyond me, but if if I had to guess I’d say somebody has a death wish . YouTube user Paxshikai is the proud owner of what is potentially the most dangerous i-SOBOT ever, thanks to its arsenal of custom made weapons that includes crossbows, sniper rifles, machine guns, rocket launchers, and even a light saber. In celebration of his 100th (!) YouTube video of an i-SOBOT blowing things up with a variety of weaponry (or doing other weird stuff), Paxshikai put together this compilation video. Uncool dino abuse at 0:35, 1:00, 1:30 - 2:00, 3:10, and 4:05-4:30 (that last scene isn’t for the faint of heart). So, is this how it’s gonna be, Paxshikai? Because I have 0% fear of stomping the shit out of that little dino-killer. And you know what the GW punishment for killing a dinosaur is, don’t you? Paxshikai’s 100th i-SOBOT Video [botjunkie] Thanks to Ben, Spikey DaPikey and Zach, who all belong to an elite squad of robot saboteurs and wear fake mustaches and the whole nine yards.

This is a video of a Tomy i-SOBOT that some deranged sicko made custom weapons for and then let loose to wreak havoc on a table in his living room. Why half the scenes involve killing innocent dinosaurs is beyond me, but if if I had to guess I’d say somebody has a death wish . YouTube user Paxshikai is the proud owner of what is potentially the most dangerous i-SOBOT ever, thanks to its arsenal of custom made weapons that includes crossbows, sniper rifles, machine guns, rocket launchers, and even a light saber. In celebration of his 100th (!) YouTube video of an i-SOBOT blowing things up with a variety of weaponry (or doing other weird stuff), Paxshikai put together this compilation video. Uncool dino abuse at 0:35, 1:00, 1:30 - 2:00, 3:10, and 4:05-4:30 (that last scene isn’t for the faint of heart). So, is this how it’s gonna be, Paxshikai? Because I have 0% fear of stomping the shit out of that little dino-killer. And you know what the GW punishment for killing a dinosaur is, don’t you? Paxshikai’s 100th i-SOBOT Video [botjunkie] Thanks to Ben, Spikey DaPikey and Zach, who all belong to an elite squad of robot saboteurs and wear fake mustaches and the whole nine yards.

This isn’t the first time a programmable roadsign has been hacked , and it probably won’t be the last . How do I know ? I’m blogging from the keypad of one of the things right now! Now how do you spell “handsomest”? Is that right — it looks funny. At least two Florida Department of Transportation traffic signs - on West University Avenue and North Main Street - carried the warning: “ZOMBIE ATTACK!! EVACUATE.” The sign on Main misspelled evacuate. But the signs were a hoax. Someone had hacked the message on the signs, either by telephone or working directly at the signs themselves, FDOT spokeswoman Gina Busscher said. “We’ve not seen any zombies on University Avenue,” Busscher added, “so apparently it worked well. … We’ve not had a problem like this before.” Oh damn — I didn’t know you could program these things by telephone! So what the hell am I doing standing out here in the middle of the median? I mean, besides flashing. That’s no speed bump, lady! Don’t fear: Zombies are not near [gainsville] Thanks to Kelly and Roy, who once hacked into the CIA mainframe a body up and threw it in the ocean.

This isn’t the first time a programmable roadsign has been hacked , and it probably won’t be the last . How do I know ? I’m blogging from the keypad of one of the things right now! Now how do you spell “handsomest”? Is that right — it looks funny. At least two Florida Department of Transportation traffic signs - on West University Avenue and North Main Street - carried the warning: “ZOMBIE ATTACK!! EVACUATE.” The sign on Main misspelled evacuate. But the signs were a hoax. Someone had hacked the message on the signs, either by telephone or working directly at the signs themselves, FDOT spokeswoman Gina Busscher said. “We’ve not seen any zombies on University Avenue,” Busscher added, “so apparently it worked well. … We’ve not had a problem like this before.” Oh damn — I didn’t know you could program these things by telephone! So what the hell am I doing standing out here in the middle of the median? I mean, besides flashing. That’s no speed bump, lady! Don’t fear: Zombies are not near [gainsville] Thanks to Kelly and Roy, who once hacked into the CIA mainframe a body up and threw it in the ocean.