Poopsenders.com is a service that allows you to send bags of animal feces to people you don’t like. I assume it was created by a zoo employee because it’s not just cow dung that’s available, you can also opt for elephant and gorilla scat in quart and gallon sizes ($13-$24). It’s real too because I went through the entire ordering process ( The Superficial Writer has a birthday coming up). Well, that or I just got scammed. But I hope not because I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he opens that box and I run up behind him and smash his face in it and set him on fire. Best present ever! Official Site Thanks to Jcon, who sent a box to himself because he’s sick like that. You need help bro.

This is all over the news right now but I don’t really understand why because I’ve known about gliding-lizards (not to mention Komodos) forever. Sure I was an amateur herpetologist growing up and have never had a girl in my bedroom , but one time two of my sister’s friends stood in the foyer while they were waiting for her to get ready, so that’s something. Anyway, this lil guy is being hailed as a dragon because he’s reptilian and has wings. Sure he couldn’t flap them to save his life and can’t breathe fire for shit, but that’s not the point. The point it — wait, what was the point? Oh, right. I’d still let a half dozen loose in my pants. Indonesian Dragon [neatorama] Thanks to Gordon, martin, Battlestar Caligula and Jeffrey, who have all read ‘Three Tracks in the Sand’ by Dick Dragon and could tell it was about me.

Anybody else just flash back to Half Life ? Me neither, it was a Dead concert. Anyway, this is a giant f***ing Japanese Spider Crab. It was recently caught off the coast of — you’ll never guess — Japan , and will be on display in England. I bet my ex-wife has bigger ones. With its enormous legs and lethal claws, this monster of the deep is already the biggest crab ever seen in Britain. But astonishingly, the arthropod - which measures a staggering 10ft from claw to claw - is still growing, and could live until it is 100. Nicknamed ‘Crabzilla’ after the fictional giant monster, the Japanese Spider Crab has a body the size of a basketball and its legs can straddle a car. They will eventually measure a massive 15ft [across]. Crabzilla is currently in quarantine, but will be on display at the National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, England soon. Ultimately, he will be moved to the Sea Life Center in Blankenberge, Belgium, where he will be stolen and eaten by the Geekologie Writer. I am gonna crack those legs open OVER MY KNEE. ‘Crabzilla’: The biggest crab ever seen in Britain… and it’s still growing [dailymail] Thanks to jack, who had one of these crawl out the bottom of his boxers and try to eat his socks.

This is a video of little birds playing guitar as part of some wack-ass French ( of course ) art exhibit . For his installation in The Curve, Boursier-Mougenot creates a walk-though aviary for a flock of zebra finches, furnished with electric guitars and other musical instruments. As the birds go about their routine activities, perching on or feeding from the various pieces of equipment, they create a captivating, live soundscape. Hmm, I dunno. Is a bunch of little birds playing guitar really art? Did I serve as the model for Michalangelo’s David? That was supposed to be rhetorical. But since I’ve piqued your interest, yes, I did. Except for the wang (I had mine thrown over my shoulder). Youtube via Birds Can Play Guitar [buzzfeed]

…and she also displayed her lack of support, as she stepped out without a bra yesterday afternoon in Los Angeles. No Britney style problems here though - Paris is as perky as ever, and it definitely looks like she…

You know what your dog needs? A f***ing walk. Not oxygen therapy. But hey, it’s available if you want it. Just don’t expect us to stay friends afterward. I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE! Developed by Air Press, the chambers are designed to help the dogs relax from their stressful days of eating, walking and being frequently petted by their human servants owners. Located in Yoyogi Uehara, the service goes for about 2,000 yen ($21) for 30 minutes Jesus, oxygen therapy for your pets? I NEED THAT OXYGEN. Seriously, it’s all fun and games till we’re huffing that shit out of cans like in Spaceballs. I’d hate to have to survive off whippits. No, no I wouldn’t. To the grocery store! Air Press chamber offers oxygen therapy for your pet [dvice]

Oh man, I love David Attenborough. And I know a certain lil girl who loves Jane Goodall. And now they’re BOTH featured in the latest Symphony of Science, ‘The Unbroken Thread’. This is a good one. Especially Jane Goodall’s part when she says, “there isn’t a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom — it’s a very wuzzy line — it’s a very wuzzy line — and it’s getting wuzzy-er all the time time time time time time time . That part gave me the shivers. In my timbers. YAAARR!! Symphony of Science Thanks to Kelly C., whose beats remain the freshest.

Soon, in order to prevent polar bears from going extinct, scientists will begin grafting them to televisions . This is a practice one. Available in March for $300, the Hannspree polar bear television makes a perfect addition to your trophy room or….nope, that’s the only place it would make a perfect addition. I watch HGTV, I know design. Polar Bear TV Storms the F*** Out of CES [gizmodo]

Gunn pic courtesy of Bravo Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Gunn have just been honored by PETA as 2009’s Woman and Man of the Year! PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk released the following statement: “Tim Gunn and Ellen DeGeneres show us…

Because everybody deserves the right to shoot animals , a 46-year old quadriplegic will now be hunting in New Jersey with the assistance of a mouth -operated 12-gauge shotgun . Jamie Cap, 46, was injured in an accident 30 years ago while playing American football. A head-on tackle resulted in a neck injury that left him a quadriplegic and robbed him of hunting, one of his passions. “I don’t know if there are words,” he said. “I’m so happy. When you find you can do something again after 30 years, you can’t put a price on that. Some people think it’s nothing, but try being paralysed for 30 years and then come talk to me.” For a quadriplegic, firing a shotgun requires help from a companion. In Mr Cap’s case, a friend sets up the contraption, safety on, on Mr Cap’s wheelchair and Mr Cap aims the shotgun by moving the toggle switch with his mouth. Once his partner releases the safety, Mr Cap fires by sipping on the breathing tube. BLAM! *bleeding* Damnit. Jamie. Coke. on. right. US quadriplegic man wins right to go hunting [telegraph] Thanks to Malice, who feels sorry for New Jersey deer, but only because they live in Jersey.