This is a parody of the Old Spice commercials that are all the rage on your fancy moving-picture box these days (posted one after the jump for those of you who haven’t seen them), except it’s for Apple products. Only problem is, it didn’t make me laugh like the originals. Those things are funny as shit! Shit on fire that you’re stomping out with your best dress socks on. I’M TALKING ROFLQUALITY. But not really. Hit the jump for the original Old Spice ad if you haven’t seen it.

Dressing for Pleasure is an online BSDM and other fetishwear supplier that I 100% do not buy adult-sized diapers from. I’m serious, I don’t. The whole dressing like a baby thing freaks me out (ahem, Japan ). Anyway, DFP decided to advertise their whips and gimp masks on ketchup bottles, encouraging bar patrons to spank the hell out of the bottoms. Clever, but I’ll still gonna dig around in there with a french fry to really get the ketchup flowing. And no, that wasn’t a sexual euphemism. Yes, yes it was. A BRILLIANT ONE I MIGHT ADD. Picture (with a couple more butts if you’re interested) Thanks to Trevor, who one spanked a bottle so hard the mustard got scared and threw itself off the table.

I remember seeing this video (the original Japanese commercial for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ) a long time ago, and you’re probably gonna yell at me because you sent it to me years ago, but you know what? I’m not gonna let it get to me. You can’t make me feel bad. But you can make me a sandwich. And you know what? YOU’RE GOING TO. Triangle cut, no crust, no pubes. Youtube via Zelda dance [wtfjapanseriously] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Dan, who actually perform that dance at clubs and impress all the womens.

This is College Humor’s take on those ‘ Windows 7 Was My Idea’ commercials. My take is fast-forward the DVR, but that’s just me and I’m pretty much an advertising expert. Microsoft : hire me, I’ll hook you up. And not just with good drugs either ALTHOUGH I DO KNOW PEOPLE IF THAT’LL MOVE MY APPLICATION TO THE TOP OF THE PILE. If not, please disregard and I’m drug free so there’s really no point in testing. See that — I’ve saving you money already! Haha, what do you mean I have weed in my hair? Windows 7 Parody [collegehumor] Thanks to jimjamjum and Bullboner Bill, your parents must really hate you.

No matter how many times I hear it, the German language never ceases to amaze me. Of course, most Germans would probably say the same thing about me because my language sounds so unusual . You see, I only speak the language of love. Gooch tickle boobie rub. My amorous grammar aside, this is a German Droid commercial. I don’t want to ruin the surprise ending for you, but I’m going to if you don’t have the self-control to watch it before reading this: The other cellphone throws itself out the window. Not unlike my WiiMote did when I couldn’t beat Bowser on the 10,000th try of the final castle in the new Mario. Except he broke a window too. Then got high and ate the last of my Bagel Bites. Expect a bill, Nintendo. Youtube Thanks to Joscha, who has never experienced phone-envy because he has the latest and greatest in space-phone technology: a laser cell.

You ever wanted to see an old-ass Korean commercial featuring Robocop hocking fried chicken strips? You’re sick as f*** if you have. But this is it anyways, because I cater to you sickos. With a bowtie and silver platter and the whole nine yards. But if you think for one second I won’t spike your drink, you’ve got another thing coming. Namely, a spiked drink. And then I’m gonna gulp it down right in front of you. HIYO, gettin’ crunk on the job! Haha, what do you mean I’m fired? Youtube Thanks to victor, who doesn’t buy any products endorsed by robots. Buy human!

Sure Retro Thursday isn’t even a real segment on Geekologie but you never know, I might run with it. And by “it” I mean your bike . Of course if I was smart I would ride with it, but I’m not. This is a Japanese commercial from 1978 for Hagoromo canned tuna featuring one-off three-off versions of your favorite Star Wars characters . It didn’t really make me want to run out and buy tuna. Slim Jims and beer, sure, tuna not so much. Youtube via Video: Star Wars disco sea chicken [pinktentacle] Thanks to patrick, Melissa and mac, who are all smart enough to know squid’s the real chicken of the sea.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.