Be the first to tell all the kids at Riddick Club the next Pitch Black sequel WILL have trisons (three-legged bisons, naturally): Though billed as a back-to-basics approach to the character popularized by Diesel, the script features the character — the most wanted man in the galaxy — left for dead on a barren alien planet, dealing with “trisons” (three-legged bisons) and “mud demons.” He must then contend with two squads of bounty hunters, one of which ride rockets called jetcycles. Mud demons, bounty hunters, jetcycles, AND trisons. You’re getting all that on one bill. This film is an overflowing Christmas stocking, for you. For us. ( via )

Three, apparently! Lionsgate has just released the trailer for the ideal companion piece to Bounty Hunter and Knight and Day , The Killers . This time Katherine Heigl plays the desperate-for-a-man lady who gets involved in the world of people shooting each other when she marries Ashton Kutcher, the shirtless, clandestine super-spy. Trained murderers are basically the new doctors in terms of desirability for women.

The trailer for M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender is here. Time to scrutinize it, compare it to the Nickelodeon cartoon, and figure out what mysterious forces have caused “The Happening”:

Stretch Armstrong , starring the muscley one from Twilight (his second toy-based role in three months!). From Heat Vision : Taylor Lautner has signed on to star in “Stretch Armstrong,” Universal’s movie based on the Hasbro toy. The studio is also making the movie in 3D, which will push back the release date of the movie from May 15, 2011 to some time in 2012. The story developed for the movie, being produced by Imagine and Hasbro, sees an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime. I have nothing personal against Taylor Lautner. I find it odd that the only emotions I’ve seen him portray in photos are elated and dumbfounded, but I don’t fault him for being a part of the Twilight thing. You gotta make a living taking your shirt off somewhere. Still though, I want to say right now that this will be the worst movie of 2012, mainly because I can’t imagine what a positive review for such an ill-conceived idea could even sound like. “Graciously spares us the terrible Jackie Chan or Eddie Murphy wacky-action spy film you’d expect of the Stretch Armstrong concept by instead giving us a terrible Taylor Lautner wacky-action spy film, which, if nothing else, is at least a blander awful thing”? That’s the best I can figure.

Stretch Armstrong , starring the muscley one from Twilight (his second toy-based role in three months!). From Heat Vision : Taylor Lautner has signed on to star in “Stretch Armstrong,” Universal’s movie based on the Hasbro toy. The studio is also making the movie in 3D, which will push back the release date of the movie from May 15, 2011 to some time in 2012. The story developed for the movie, being produced by Imagine and Hasbro, sees an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime. I have nothing personal against Taylor Lautner. I find it odd that the only emotions I’ve seen him portray in photos are elated and dumbfounded, but I don’t fault him for being a part of the Twilight thing. You gotta make a living taking your shirt off somewhere. Still though, I want to say right now that this will be the worst movie of 2012, mainly because I can’t imagine what a positive review for such an ill-conceived idea could even sound like. “Graciously spares us the terrible Jackie Chan or Eddie Murphy wacky-action spy film you’d expect of the Stretch Armstrong concept by instead giving us a terrible Taylor Lautner wacky-action spy film, which, if nothing else, is at least a blander awful thing”? That’s the best I can figure.

First rule of poster design: if at first you don’t succeed, just keep adding lens flares, motion blur, and teeth. It probably won’t help anything, but hey, check out all those sweet teeth! Zeus, Hades, and the Rest of the Gang [UGo]

Just in case you missed this Super Bowl spot last night because you a) didn’t watch the Super Bowl, b) were still trying to figure out why the Doritos ads were all clearly concepts someone thought of stoned (dude, what if there was like a Dorito samurai??? ), or c) were distracted by someone asking you if the multiple dot-com ads meant your party had time-traveled back to 2001, here’s the latest ad for Prince of Persia . Sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal really wants someone to hand him a dagger:

Just in case you missed this Super Bowl spot last night because you a) didn’t watch the Super Bowl, b) were still trying to figure out why the Doritos ads were all clearly concepts someone thought of stoned (dude, what if there was like a Dorito samurai??? ), or c) were distracted by someone asking you if the multiple dot-com ads meant your party had time-traveled back to 2001, here’s the latest ad for Prince of Persia . Sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal really wants someone to hand him a dagger:

Just in case you missed this Super Bowl spot last night because you a) didn’t watch the Super Bowl, b) were still trying to figure out why the Doritos ads were all clearly concepts someone thought of stoned (dude, what if there was like a Dorito samurai??? ), or c) were distracted by someone asking you if the multiple dot-com ads meant your party had time-traveled back to 2001, here’s the latest ad for Prince of Persia . Sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal really wants someone to hand him a dagger:

Just in case you missed this Super Bowl spot last night because you a) didn’t watch the Super Bowl, b) were still trying to figure out why the Doritos ads were all clearly concepts someone thought of stoned (dude, what if there was like a Dorito samurai??? ), or c) were distracted by someone asking you if the multiple dot-com ads meant your party had time-traveled back to 2001, here’s the latest ad for Prince of Persia . Sounds like Jake Gyllenhaal really wants someone to hand him a dagger: