If you’re a fan of both this year’s Oscar favorites and the terrible humans of Jersey Shore , I’ve got just what you want to gape at with a baffled stare: the cast of brain-wrecking MTV show recreating scenes from this year’s Best Picture batch, thanks to Mr. G. Lopez (TBS, very funny). It’s like watching the most acclaimed films of 2009 through orange glasses smeared in hair gel. That is, it’s awful–unless you’re really excited about hearing The Situation get involved in a “who’s on first?” routine.

Nicolas Chartier, that fool producer who, in violation of Academy rules, sent out an email asking voters to choose his film over an unnamed “$500 million film” , can cancel his reservation at Tuxedo World. The BBC reports that, despite his apology, the Hurt Locker producer will not be allowed to attend the gala event. In response to the ruling, Chartier said, “That’s a fair punishment for my ignorant actions. However, I do hope you’ll allow my twin sister Nicoletta, whom I look nearly identical to and have never been seem in the same room with, to go in my stead. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to visit my brother Harvey Fierstein.”

Nicolas Chartier, that fool producer who, in violation of Academy rules, sent out an email asking voters to choose his film over an unnamed “$500 million film” , can cancel his reservation at Tuxedo World. The BBC reports that, despite his apology, the Hurt Locker producer will not be allowed to attend the gala event. In response to the ruling, Chartier said, “That’s a fair punishment for my ignorant actions. However, I do hope you’ll allow my twin sister Nicoletta, whom I look nearly identical to and have never been seem in the same room with, to go in my stead. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to visit my brother Harvey Fierstein.”

Missile Command and Asteroids are already needlessly headed to cinemas as soon as producers figure out why there would be a Missile Command or Asteroids movie. It only makes sense Space Invaders too should be given a confusing chance at movie stardom. The LA Times says Warner Bros. is in negotiations with Taito, the original Japanese manufacturer, to acquire the film rights to crudely-drawn aliens descending along a two-dimensional plane, finally giving mankind the chance to see a film about alien invaders from space. This has been a long time coming to the world of science fiction, which thus far has had to avoid that basic concept because of copyrights. Or so I assume, because otherwise, why would anyone bother buying the movie rights to Space Invaders ? Particularly when the 1990 sci-fi comedy Spaced Invaders tells us you can make a movie about space invaders and literally just add a single letter to the title to avoid lawsuit. Thanks, but I’ll stick with Futurama for my Space Invaders entertainment needs:

All shed a tear for Mario Lopez, for tomorrow he shall have to let those words pass his lips on Extra in the wake of this : Justin Timberlake has nabbed the coveted role of the male lead in “Bad Teacher,” the Cameron Diaz comedy Jake Kasdan is directing for Columbia. Molly Shannon and Eric Stonestreet (”Modern Family”) are also joining the cast. The script, by Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, follows a foul-mouthed, gold-digging seventh-grade teacher who, after being dumped by her boyfriend, sets her sights on a colleague (Lucy Punch) who is dating a substitute teacher, who also is the scion of a watch fortune. Jason Segel was cast in the supporting role of a gym teacher, with John Michael Higgins slotted as the principal. Tomorrow: How “Bad Teacher” has made Justin a “bad boyfriend”–and the kiss that left Jessica Biel in shambles!

Thought what you’ve seen of Tron Legacy ’s world of bright borders and neon lightbikes was awesome? Then check out Tron Legacy ’s other world of run down buildings and standard motorcycles! They’re not actually as cool. Sorry. One more new shot of Flynn’s Arcade at MovieGod . (Thanks, Flex.)

Thought what you’ve seen of Tron Legacy ’s world of bright borders and neon lightbikes was awesome? Then check out Tron Legacy ’s other world of run down buildings and standard motorcycles! They’re not actually as cool. Sorry. One more new shot of Flynn’s Arcade at MovieGod . (Thanks, Flex.)

Can you believe you aren’t supposed to treat the Academy Awards like a Class President election, telling all your friends to vote for you over the more popular kid? A producer for The Hurt Locker couldn’t believe it either, so he did that and now he’s in trouble : Oscar watchers are aflutter over an e-mail message from a producer of “The Hurt Locker” asking friends and colleagues to vote for his independent movie over bigger-budget competitors, an indirect dig at “Avatar.” The producer, Nicolas Chartier, has already sent an e-mail apology for his original plea, which apparently violated the rules of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences on direct-mail campaigning and criticizing competitors. The academy won’t respond officially until after Tuesday, when Oscar ballots are due. I wonder what’s going to happen when the Academy finds out about James Cameron’s “hello friend male add inches $$$ vote Avatar” emails.

Mrs. Smith may still have more in her besides gun-shooting and Panda friend voices. Following news Earth’s mother may be joining an Alfonso Cuarón sci-fi film, THR reports Angelina Jolie could star in a new Darren Aronofsky project: Angelina Jolie and Darren Aronofsky are in discussions to develop a big-screen adaptation of Ron Rash’s 2008 period tome “Serena: A Novel.” The project would be a starring vehicle for Jolie, while Aronofsky would direct. Set in the rugged mountains of 1929 North Carolina, “Serena” follows a man named George Pemberton and his new bride, Serena, as they create a timber empire. Serena not only takes to the woods, but she also pushes her husband to commit more and more ruthless acts. When she learns she cannot bear a child, Serena sets out to murder the son her husband fathered illegitimately. I’m confused. So when she learns she can’t have a kid, she tries to murder her husband’s illegitimate son? That completely conflicts the both romantic and hilarious can’t-have-a-child solution presented to me in Jennifer Lopez’s The Back-Up Plan .

Your weekend box office numbers: 1. Shutter Island - $22.2 million . It’s making enough money that, in a few years, it may be the #1 answer when Family Feud asks for a Scorsese film. 2. Cop Out - $18.6 million , not enough to take first place but enough to surely turn a profit when, next week, Kevin Smith adds new scenes of Tracy Morgan delivering Shutter Island lines in an interrogation room. 3. The Crazies - Only managed to gross $16.5 million , as most audiences just assumed “The Crazies” must be a wacky family of mixed-weight Eddie Murphys. 4. Avatar - $14 million . That’s 706. MILLION! …DOLLARS! …TOTAL! …WITHIN THE UNITED STATES! 5. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $9.8 million . When it comes to child gods, audiences still prefer Little Hercules . Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]