This is a little Asian girl dressed as Voltron in what may or may yes be a mall’s food court. And as much as I despise robots (particularly ones that join together to form larger, even more menacing robots), I’ll admit you really can’t help but love her. Ha, I said you. I still hate her. voltron girl [angryasianman] Thanks to Ryan and Mustang Sanford, who know I don’t really hate the little girl. It’s her parents.

This is a parody of the Old Spice commercials that are all the rage on your fancy moving-picture box these days (posted one after the jump for those of you who haven’t seen them), except it’s for Apple products. Only problem is, it didn’t make me laugh like the originals. Those things are funny as shit! Shit on fire that you’re stomping out with your best dress socks on. I’M TALKING ROFLQUALITY. But not really. Hit the jump for the original Old Spice ad if you haven’t seen it.

Jordan Verner is blind . And he posted a few videos of himself playing through parts of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on Youtube. But he wanted more, he wanted to beat the whole game . Thankfully, Roy Williams saw his videos. Through Skype, Jordan said he asked for help in completing the entire game — help that he didn’t seriously expect. So Williams and thee other diehard gamers each took different parts and copied down every single move. “Every time we make a move, we roll, jump, do anything, we type down on the computer exactly what we’re doing,” said Williams. Verner would then take the script and have his computer read it to him as he played. An average gamer will take about a week to play through the entire thing, but this project took almost 2 years and more than 100,000 keystrokes. Finally, Jordan beat the entire thing. “I felt great,” said Jordan. “I felt strong. I felt like the sky’s the limit.” “Our school’s motto — and I live by it — is the impossible is only the untried,” said Jordan. First of all, HOW THE F*** DID YOU GET PAST THE WATER TEMPLE?! And secondly, is that not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard? Because it is to me and I’ve heard angels sing ‘Alice’s Restaurant’ with full orchestration and five-part harmony and stuff like that. Hit the jump for a worthwhile video news report about the project.

Jordan Verner is blind . And he posted a few videos of himself playing through parts of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on Youtube. But he wanted more, he wanted to beat the whole game . Thankfully, Roy Williams saw his videos. Through Skype, Jordan said he asked for help in completing the entire game — help that he didn’t seriously expect. So Williams and thee other diehard gamers each took different parts and copied down every single move. “Every time we make a move, we roll, jump, do anything, we type down on the computer exactly what we’re doing,” said Williams. Verner would then take the script and have his computer read it to him as he played. An average gamer will take about a week to play through the entire thing, but this project took almost 2 years and more than 100,000 keystrokes. Finally, Jordan beat the entire thing. “I felt great,” said Jordan. “I felt strong. I felt like the sky’s the limit.” “Our school’s motto — and I live by it — is the impossible is only the untried,” said Jordan. First of all, HOW THE F*** DID YOU GET PAST THE WATER TEMPLE?! And secondly, is that not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard? Because it is to me and I’ve heard angels sing ‘Alice’s Restaurant’ with full orchestration and five-part harmony and stuff like that. Hit the jump for a worthwhile video news report about the project.

This amazing early-90s prison training video teaches aspiring wardens the best way to handle an unruly prisoner: Bring in creepy-ass Michael Emerson from Lost . He’ll not only calm the prisoner down, but he’ll also convince the prisoner he’s protecting his friends by murdering employees at competing prisons. In this example, he doesn’t succeed. Poor, poor Higgins. You’re so dead.

This amazing early-90s prison training video teaches aspiring wardens the best way to handle an unruly prisoner: Bring in creepy-ass Michael Emerson from Lost . He’ll not only calm the prisoner down, but he’ll also convince the prisoner he’s protecting his friends by murdering employees at competing prisons. In this example, he doesn’t succeed. Poor, poor Higgins. You’re so dead.

You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

Damnit, Darth , you’re terrorizing the entire house. I swear, where’s Luke riding a teacup pig when you need him? Haha, what do you mean he’s in his room with Leia and the door’s locked? Doesn’t he know? No?! Holy shit this is gonna be hilarious! But first: I need for you to order one of those fake “always positive” pregnancy tests. Picture Thanks to sham, who will always be a sham-wow in my book.

The Porn Detection Stick may look like an ordinary USB drive with ” Porn Detection Stick” printed on the side, but it’s not! Wait, maybe it is. *reading* No, no it’s not. Described as a “robust illicit image detection device designed to protect your family, business or organization,” the Porn Detection Stick is a USB drive you plug into your computer to hunt down dirty files — specifically, images, and it even claims to go after ones you’ve deleted. The Stick apparently makes its job harder than just immediately popping up and say, “Yep, there’s pornography here!” by instead scanning your photos for telltale signs of naughtiness such as exposed flesh, suggestive curvature and “body part separation.” Thankfully, the device only works for images, so saucy Excel spreadsheets are still a go. Isn’t that right, you naughty little cells? OMG, OMG — PIE CHAAAAAAART! Product Site via Porn Detection Stick roots out naughty files, even deleted ones [dvice] Thanks to Closet Nerd, who doesn’t find porn, porn finds him.